Katy Perry Rapes The Radio

Yesterday as I was driving away from my house, escaping the responsibilities of household chores, I switched my truck radio on. Being a mild Katy Perry fan, I chose to stop scanning when I heard her newest single "California Girls". It's a song about chicks in daisy dukes and bikinis, beaches, tiny dogs, melting popsicles, the usual perks of summer. When the song ended and commercials for State Farm resumed I switched the station to a preset. "California Girls" was playing again. Excited, I blasted it and sang along. Same vicious cycle as before. As the song came to an end once more, another preset station was chosen. "I Kissed a Girl" blared in my eardrums. "Wow," I thought. "This bitch is raping the radio". I listened to her gush about cherry chapstick and touchable female skin. Having had my fill, I switched to the fourth preset on my radio when her duet with Timbaland, "If We Ever Meet Again" floated into my ear canals and made my smallest ear bones vibrate. My fifth and sixth radio preset buttons fail to work properly. Katy Perry, you've officially raped the radio.